Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Hey Everyone! I just wanted to show some of the sweet photographs my friend Suzanne Hart was able to catch. Suzanne- you are amazing!! Mark and I just died over these pictures. Photography says so much- what a great talent to have and share with others. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!

This is Mark's favorite picture. It's now the screen saver on all our computers. Isn't he an angel?

Is this kid wearing his daddy's face or what?

This is our nativity baby.

Isn't this just the sweetest? We're a family now and we're so happy.
Mommy's precious boy

I love that babies have a natural reflex to hold your hand. Why aren't we this guileless?

Mark and I love this little one so much. He has no idea how much joy and light he's already brought to our lives- even from the first day we knew about him. We actually found out about him on March 10th of this year. Last year on March 10th I had my d&c.. I was so grateful to have happy news on that particular day. It was another one of our Father's many tender mercies He's shown Mark and me.

It's so rough being in a basket!

I guess this is the end.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Well, it's almost 1AM...

I heard once that when a child is born the mother is born also. I didn't really understand this quote until recently.
Sunday was my first day back to church. I hadn't really been out of my little baby world a lot but being there made me feel like a new creature. I'm different-changed. Thanks to my little 9 lbs. 2 oz. of life that I get to hang out with all day and all night, I feel that my capacity to love has just exploded. It's like I'm looking at everyone through different eyes.
In the nursery there was this darling little boy Mason who is just getting used to nursery and he missed his mommy so bad he was pouring out these huge tears down his cheeks. I had to take him to her and I as I was holding him I was just filled with so much love and empathy for this little boy. In his little world this was a major event. I found myself saying to his mom, "He was being so brave" That's what I tell Sawyer when he's upset because we're chaniging his diaper, taking a bath, getting him dressed, etc. In his world these things are HUGE and so he has to be comforted through them. It made me think about perspective. How many things in our lives are HUGE- but our Heavenly parents know them to be inconsequential but still they soothe us through them anyway.
There was also this teacher who didn't have any students this week so she could go to Relief Society. She's a middle-aged mom but she was really nervous about going to Relief Society so I asked her if she wanted me to go with her for a few minutes. Anyway, I ended up staying there with her until the end because otherwise she would've sat all alone on the front row. I'm really glad I did. She's older than me, but I felt like I wanted to cradle her and protect her and make sure she knew she wasn't alone. I really feel that this new love I have for my Sawyer is helping look at others in a more Christ-like way. We are all children who just want to be loved and taken care of!
The other experience I had on Sunday was after feeding Sawyer he fell asleep all cuddled and sweet on my shoulder. I thought this was a perfect opportunity to get some reading in, so I started reading this book our pediatrician gave us (it's the closest thing anyone has to an owner's manual for a baby). Anyway, as I was reading I had this strong thought come to my mind, "Never multi-task when it comes to Sawyer." I thought that was pretty powerful, so I put my book away and just enjoyed the time I had cuddling with my little boy. (Yup, I'll probly neva reed anuther buuk in ma life! Hee Hee) I started thinking about what a precious time this is. I'll never have this time with Sawyer again. I know it's not very realistic to not multi-task when you have more than one child, but for me and my situation in life right now, I can afford to take a nap with my boy for a few hours and not worry about time wasted. I was really grateful for those realizations.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Here's Sawyer's first teddy bear. His Auntie Noel brought this for him right after he was born. I thought that was so sweet of her.

This is Sawyer's first car ride. I get a kick out of how Mark loves to bundle- he knows how cold I get so whenever we go camping he's always bundling me up and making me the softest, warmest spots to sleep in.. it's so cute- this boy was so comfy on his ride home... Mark loved the little cover Amber brought us. He said, "Oh yeah, no breeze is getting in there!"

This was Sawyer's first morning at our home. He did really good the first night.

This is after his first bath. He really didn't like it too much. Mark got him all clean, my mom filmed it, and I was on binky duty. Between the three of us he got pretty clean.

This was his first time in the swing. He was absolutely thrilled as you can see. We know he must like it because he can sleep for hours in that thing!
So I know it's December but I'm still in the Thanksgiving mood. I wonder why... maybe because I have soooo much to be grateful for. My heart is so full!! Thank you all for your sweet comments on our last post. I wrote this 5 page letter to Sawyer and those were the best clips from it. I wrote about his birth in so much detail because I want to remember it and I'm already starting to forget some little things. Oh.. I love that little boy so much. Being a mommy is the best! I'm so grateful for the opportunity. Anyway, here are a few more things that I'm really grateful for.

The first thing is that my days are going by so much faster now. At the end of my pregnancy I swear each day was 57 hours long!! Mark was so great to me. He knew I was getting restless with the usual pregosoraus wreck pastimes like watching t.v, taking a bath, playing free cell, surfing the net and everyones blogs, etc.. so he brought home a puzzle for us to put together and that was really sweet. He's such a thoughtful husband... I'm so lucky to have him!

Anne my sister-in-law is so amazing! Right now she and Ryan and their son Christopher live in our basement. They are always serving us. Anne is always thinking of others. She had these gorgeous flowers and a little Christmas outfit for Sawyer waiting for us when we got home. She cooks for us a lot- and for those who know me and how clumsy I am in the kitchen that is a HUGE blessing. I'm so grateful for Anne's example. She's one of those people I'm really glad I have the chance to get to know better.

This is my OB, Dr. Saunders. I was so grateful we caught him on his day on-call for the delivery. He was going out of town for Thanksgiving so we just barely imposed on his vacation. He is such a great doctor and I was 100% pleased with him and all the nurses- they were wonderful!

Mark and I are so lucky to have both sets of grandparents nearby. Grandparents are so much fun, aren't they? Sawyer is already loved by a great group of people.

I'm so in love with this little guy! I can't get over how many facial expressions this one little creature can make! I love all of his little noises too! He's so much fun to have around. I love him to bits!

This is for Suzanne. I'm sure all of you moms can relate to why I'm grateful for this little life saver!

Liberty was in Colorado when Sawyer was born, but it was so fun to have her come and visit for the first time. We're very thankful for visitors these days. It's so much fun to see everyone.
Adam and Mily came right after Sawyer was born. My face was like double the size because of the iv fluids so I think I was a bit scary. I'm glad the swelling has gone down. I couldn't even recognize myself for awhile after delivery-- my face was like the good year blimp!
I'm grateful to have two sisters who became mothers before me. They always have good advice for me!
Isn't Amber gorgeous! I love this picture of her and Sawyer. She looks like an angel!

I'm so grateful for my beautiful mom who was Sawyer's first babysitter while Mark and I went to see The Sasquatch Gang- by the same directors of Napoleon Dynamite. I thought it was pretty funny... I was laughing hysterically, but I'm in my constant state of late-night delirium these days so I don't know if I'm a great critic right now.

I love seeing all of his facial expressions. Even if this is a poop-induced smile I'll take it!still love to see it!
I love those moments that make you laugh really hard. After we set up our Christmas tree, Fiona decided to get in on the festive spirit and jumped in the decorations. I thought it was cute so I grabbed my camera and caught her in the middle of a yawn. (If you look really close you can see her one and only fang). Anyway, just after I took it our tree fell right where she was so I told Mark that was her facial expression as the tree was coming at her. I laughed pretty hard about that. She's got those cat-like reflexes so she was was a fine feline.

I love the newborn stage!! I feel so blessed that we haven't had any illnesses or problems with feeding or sleeping. We are extremely blessed. Sawyer is such a content, easy baby so far. I'm so grateful for his long stretches of sleep and for all the help Mark gives me. He'll take him for the whole night so I can get some sleep sometimes.

I make up dialogue for Sawyer in my head. Mostly he's saying, "Mommy, what are we doing this for?" or "Mommy, I'm ready to eat" in this one he's saying, "Hey, How you doin'?"

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Dear Sawyer,

I thought I would take this time I have while you are sleeping to tell you about the best day your dad and I have ever had. It was seven days ago when you came into our lives. I just want you to know all about that important day and all the details.

On Wednesday I had a high water leak, but I wasn't completely sure so I just started cleaning the house and making sure all the laundry was done, etc. I got in the shower after mopping up the bathroom and while I was doing my hair I felt a pretty significant gush of water- Auntie Amber teased that if that happened our dog Kelty would come and lick it up—but she was outside and the mop was right there so we avoided that scenario. Your dad had been out doing a few errands for work and was going to be back in 45 minutes to an hour but I called him and said, “I need you. We need to go right now.”

We were admitted around 2:20 and around 4:10 Dr. Saunders arrived and checked me and said that the bag of waters wasn’t all the way ruptured so he broke it but I barely noticed. Your dad said, “I’ve been wanting to do that for three weeks now.” And Dr. Saunders said, “Well, you got your wish.”

At around 5:00 they came and took my blood to check for signs of pre-eclampsia (which I never knew you could get during labor but you can). They ended up giving me Magnesium Sulfate to help avoid seizures.

Because I started pushing around 9:25 everyone thought you would be born around 10 or 10:30. Well, it ended up taking a bit longer. Your daddy started teasing that maybe you would be born on Thanksgiving like he was if this lasted until midnight. We were about one push away from having you here at around 11:56- so your dad said, “Maybe we should rest during the next two contractions” In my mind I didn’t think we were so close because they had been telling me for quite some time that we were almost there, so I was grateful to have a little breather. Well at 11:59 another contraction started and our nurse said, “I think we’re close enough” so your dad counted “Push 1..2..3..” and you came!! I was surprised and thought to myself, “It worked this time!” And you were here at 52 seconds past midnight. A thanksgiving baby like your dad.

My first impression of you was that you were really long! I was instantly in love with you and called to you as they took you to the table saying things like, “Hey baby, can you hear me? I’m so glad you’re here. We’ve waited so long to have you. I can’t believe it’s our son! I’m so happy.” I was just gushing out to you! I truly felt so genuinely happy.

They took you and measured you and I guess you peed all over the nurses…serves them right for having to scrub you so hard- hee hee! Everyone was surprised to find out you were 19” and 8 lbs. 15.2 oz. It really didn’t shock me. Although I measured on the small side you felt big inside me- always very active and making huge motions. You were just perfect for me and my body.

After they measured you Mark got to hold you and seeing him as a father for the first time made me cry. He was glowing with pride and just radiating so much love for you.

Then they brought you to me and I remember thinking you had the cutest lips and a little button nose like Ruston and Damaris’ kids. I thought you were absolutely beautiful. They said you had auburn hair… I couldn’t believe it! Your dad and I never thought we could have a red haired child. Only time will tell if it stays that way. I couldn’t believe I was looking at my boy.

My family started to come in and my dad held you first and that was really special- I love my daddy so much.

My mom and Amber helped me feed you for the first time and you did really well- at almost 9 lbs. you came into this world hungry.

Aside from meeting you, the very best thing that I gained from your birth was that I’ve fallen in love with your daddy all over again. I first fell in love with a buddy from high school. Now I’m in love with the father of my child. He is so crazy about you and seeing that melts me to the core. He’s so excited to feed you, burp you, bathe you, and try out all of your toys like the swing and the bouncer. He especially loves giving you a bottle. While giving you one he said, “I could get used to this.” He was so completely there for me during your birth- the time when I needed him the very most. Your birth has brought us closer to one another and that is exactly what I wanted out of our birthing experience. We are so in love and we are so head over heels for you.

We have this orchid that hasn’t bloomed since we got it almost two years ago. When we came home from the hospital two beautiful yellow flowers had bloomed and it really touched me to see the symbolism of watering this non-flowering plant for two years and to finally see those happy flowers on the day we brought you home. Your dad and I have wanted you here for so long and now I just want to wrap every moment in a box and keep it forever. I have everything now that I have you. When I hold you I think of how you are Heavenly Mother’s son and I want to be as much like her as I can and raise you like she would. Well, I gotta go… you’re crying and I’ve got to go wipe away your tears. I love you son. Mommy

Friday, November 9, 2007

These are a few of my favorite things...
Since it's November, I figured I would blog about all the things I'm grateful for. It really is crazy because I planned on starting with all the little things, but then I just keep thinking of more and more- like the fact that Amber and I still laugh deliriously when we get tired- lately our favorite is "Lay off me I'm starving!!!" (If any of you have seen that Chris Farley sketch..) anyway, and how my doctor told me about this mom in the delivery room who started out like, "Oh, I'm good, I'm good" and then switching to "Give me the epidural" like Chris Farley.. anyway I love getting a good laugh in.
Here are a few more of my favorite things-

Okay, this is a really small thing, but for me it's a big deal. I'm not a naturally organized/spotless person at all, I really have to work at it. My bathroom was pretty much a mess with all my "gear" and I would always spread it out all over the counter and I literally drove Mark out of our bathroom into the kitchen bathroom.. oops! Anyway, since I haven't been working I've had time to basically gut my house and get it organized and cleaned up before the new arrival and I'm so happy. My bathroom is so much more functional and relaxing!! I know it's kind of a weird thing to be so excited about, but I stressed over our disorganized, messy house all last year when I was working, but there was no time for me to focus on it. I'm so happy I've been able to paint and get things the way I really want them- it really gives me peace.

This is an orchid my friend Jana gave to me almost two years ago. It had these beautiful yellow flower at first and is only now starting to get blossoms again (I didn't know I was supposed to cut the stalk down to 2"). I'm so excited for when I get to see this flower in bloom again! I love orchids and lilies- they are so beautiful!

This is a wall sconce that I just hung in my bathroom. I love lighting is all up at night and taking long baths... it's so relaxing and I know it's a treat that I probably won't get to enjoy as much once our little one is here. That's okay though, I'm living it up now!

This probably makes some of you cat haters cringe... but Fiona will come purr right in my ear and it actually really helps me relax. I'm so uncomfortable lately that I get really tense at night. She's like my Tylenol PM that I'm usually addicted to.

Mark and I also decided that she needed a little bath before the baby comes, so he put on two pair of really long wool socks over his arms and dunked her in the bath. She still got him soooo bad! She cried like a baby---maybe that was a mistake!

Fiona is also learning not to get in the baby gear like the pack-n-play, the carseat, the bouncer, etc.. Well, the other day I caught her in the bassinet and I keep a water gun in the nursery for just such an occasion. I started to skirt her and expected her to jump out immediately, because she hates water (as mentioned in the story above) but she just laid there in shock like, "What are you doing to me?" Finally I stopped getting her body and got her on the forehead and she jumped out... She is one crazy kitty!

Mark is the sweetest husband ever!! He paints my toenails for me now that I can't reach them. He does a pretty good job, eh? It's so cute to see his huge hands try and manage the tiny brushes. He's getting the technique down. Whenever I think about that story about the elderly man who did his wife's nails that Elder Wirthlin shared in conference I start to cry because of what Mark does for me. It's one of those small things that really mean a lot.

Husbands are the best! Yesterday I was having a slight emotional melt down just because I'm so tired and uncomfortable, and I want to do things, but I'm too lazy, and I want Sawyer to come, but I'm nervous about actually being a mom, and I want him to be healthy and the delivery to go well.... yadda yadda- I'm sure all of you mommies have been there. Anyway, Mark found me bawling in the tub and he's like, "We need to go to Kneaders and a park for lunch" So we went to Kneaders, (my fav) and ate at the Scera Park and swung on their swings. I wish I had a picture of me in my 9 mos. pregnant glory swinging on a swing. My shadow looked pretty funny. He totally cheered me up- he is the absolute best! I love him so much!

Mark also surprised me by picking up our crib. Since we already have a bassinet and a pack-n-play that he can use for awhile, we were planning on getting it around Christmas to kind of spread out the baby expenses, but he just went and picked it up, along with this wedge pillow Zoraya told us about. It goes under your belly to help support all that extra weight. Good call Zoraya- I love that thing!! That seriously meant a lot to me that he would surprise me like that.

This is my new favorite cd. It's "One Cell in the Sea" by A Fine Frenzy. If you don't have it- you should get it- trust me you'll LOVE it! I honestly listened to it for days in a row when I first got it. I've backed off now, but I want to learn how to put tunes on my blog just so you guys can hear this band... they rule!!! So, if anyone can tell me how to do that it would be great!
I heard the first track playing at Barnes and Noble and knew I had to buy it. It's my favorite song lately and it's called, "Come on Come out" do you think that has anything to do with my pregnancy???

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Happy Halloween!